SAFETY

One reason passions run high in these debates is that the stakes are high. Women, children, and men die each year in abuse-related homicides. Often, the children are the continuing link between an abused partner and the abuser, under court-ordered arrangements that guarantee the abuser's access to his former family and their vulnerability to him. In Boston within the last few months, a father used a visitation transfer as an opportunity to slash his former partner repeatedly in the face and neck even though she had taken the precaution of arranging the transfer at a busy subway station and had brought a male friend with her for extra security. The father was also hospitalized with self-inflicted stab wounds. [FN65] In Washington State just before Christmas, a father shot and killed his former wife and their two-year-old daughter, Carli, in a car parked outside a visitation center. Staff at the center said that in interviewing the parents they had detected no more signs of danger than in "any other of our caseload." The father later killed himself when he was stopped by police. [FN66]

Of course, not every case involving the breakup of an abusive relationship ends this way. And, sadly, some cases will, no matter how the family court system responds. But every lawyer or advocate who works closely with abused women, and every mental health professional who specializes in assisting victims of and witnesses to violence in the home, lives in fear that their clients will be next-to be maimed or killed or to witness the assault or death of someone they love. As professionals, they know that they cannot always save their clients. But, their anguish at participating in processes that leave their clients unprotected or, worse, put them at increased risk, is both understandable and appropriate.

Security begins with knowing that every professional in the family court system has incorporated a careful risk assessment into his or her analysis of the case and recommendations for its disposition. It rests on the willingness of those same actors to make safety a priority even when safety is inconsistent with parental access. It rests on knowing that the community has resources, like supervised visitation programs, that can provide safe parental access even when partner access is unsafe and that involved professionals know about those resources and are ready to recommend them. It grows with knowing that any negotiated settlement has, insofar as possible, the genuine assent of the abused partner and the independent approval of someone looking out for the children's welfare and that it meets basic safety requirements. Security grows further with the knowledge that judges are ready to craft orders with close attention to violence-sensitive recommendations and concerns *290 and are willing to use all the flexibility and creativity the underlying legal standards allow. Finally, it rests on the confidence that if the disposition of the case proves inadequate, if it promotes or allows further abuse, the individual who comes back to court seeking increased safety through modification or enforcement of an order will be given careful and respectful attention.

[FN65]. Beth Daley and Zachary R. Rowdy, T stop attack hurts 4: Rush-hour crowd views bloody melee, BOSTON GLOBE, B1, Oct. 20, 1998.

[FN66]. George Tibbets, Wash. Woman Couldn't Escape Husband, Associated Press, Dec. 21, 1998.