*114 APPENDIX A:
*115
PERSONALIZED SAFETY PLAN [FN188]
The following steps represent my plan for increasing my safety and
preparing in advance for the possibility for further violence. Although I
do not have control over my partner's violence, I do have a choice about how
to respond to him/her and how to best get myself and my children to safety.
Step 1: Safety during a violent
incident. Women cannot always avoid violent incidents. In order to increase safety,
battered women may use a variety of strategies.
I can use some or all of the following strategies:
A. If I decide to leave, I will _________________________________.
(Practice how to get out safely. What doors, windows, elevators, stairwells,
or fire escapes would I use?)
B. I can keep my purse and car keys ready and put them _______________________
(place) in order to leave quickly.
C. I can tell _________________________________ about the violence
and request they call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from
my house.
D. I can teach my children how to use the telephone to contact the
police and the fire department. (Be careful about placing responsibility on
children.)
E. I will use ___________________ as my code word with my children
or my friends so they can call for help.
F. If I have to leave my home, I will go _________________________.
(Decide this even if I do not think there will be a next time.) If I cannot
go to the location above, then I can go to ______________________________________________
or _________________________________________.
G. I can also teach some of these strategies to some/all of my children.
H. When I expect we are going to have an argument, I will try to
move to a space that has fewer risks, such as __________________________.
(Try to avoid arguments in the bathroom, garage, kitchens, near weapons, or
in rooms without access to an outside door.)
I. I will use my judgment and intuition. If the situation is very
serious, I can give my partner what he/she wants to calm him/her down. I have
to protect myself until I/we are out of danger.
*116 Step 2: Safety when preparing
to leave. Battered women frequently leave the residence they share with the battering
partner. Leaving must be done with a careful plan in order to increase safety.
Batterers often strike back when they believe that a battered woman is leaving
a relationship.
I can use some or all of the following strategies:
A. I will leave money and an extra set of keys with ____________________________
so I can leave quickly.
B. I will keep copies of important documents or keys at __________________________________.
C. To increase my independence, I will open an individual savings
account by _______________________ (date), or I will find a safe place to
hide cash.
D. Other things I can do to increase my independence include: ________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________ _____________________________________.
E. The domestic violence program's hotline number is ________________________________.
I can seek shelter by calling this hotline. I will call ahead of time to find
out the procedure for admission to the shelter.
F. I can keep change for phone calls on me at all times. I understand
that if I use my telephone calling card after I leave, the following month
the telephone bill will tell my batterer those numbers that I called. To keep
my telephone communications confidential, I must either use coins or get a
friend to permit me to use his/her telephone calling card for a limited time
when I first leave.
G. I will check with ____________________________________ and ________________________
to see who would be able to let me stay with them or lend me some money.
H. I can leave extra clothes with _________________________________.
I. I will sit down and review my safety plan every ______________________ (no more than six weeks) in order to plan the safest way to leave the residence. _____________________________ (domestic violence advocate or friend) has agreed to help me review this plan.
J. I will rehearse my escape plan and, as appropriate, practice
it with my children.
*117 Step 3: Safety in my own
residence.
(If he chooses or is forced to leave, or if I am in a new home.) There are
many things that a woman can do to increase her safety; these measures can
be added step by step. NEVER ASSUME THAT HE WILL NOT FIND ME!!!
Safety measures I can use include:
A. I can change the locks on my doors and windows as soon as possible.
B. I can replace wooden doors with steel/metal doors.
C. I can install security systems including additional locks, window
bars (not generally recommended due
to fire escape hazards), poles to wedge against doors, an electronic system,
etc.
D. I can purchase rope ladders ("fire ladders" are available
from hardware and discount stores) to be used for escape from second floor
windows.
E. I can install smoke detectors and purchase fire extinguishers
for each floor in my house/apartment.
F. I can install an outside lighting system that lights up when
a person is coming close to my house (motion detectors).
G. I will teach my children how to use the telephone to make a collect
call to me and to _________________________________________________________________
(friend/minister/other) in the event that my partner takes the children.
H. I will tell people who take care of my children which people
have permission to pick up my children and that my partner is not permitted
to do so. Some will require a court order. The people I will inform about
pick up include:
____ (school),
____ (day care staff),
____ (baby
sitter),
____ (Sunday school teacher),
____ (teacher), and
____ (others).
I. I can inform ___________________________________ (neighbor), _____________________________(pastor),
and _____________________ (friend) that my partner no longer resides with
me and that they should call the police if they observe my partner near my
residence.
*118 Step 4: Safety with a Protective
Order. Many batterers obey protective orders, but no one can ever be sure which
violent partner will obey and which will violate protective orders. I recognize
that I may need to ask the police and the courts to enforce my Protective
Order.
The following are some steps that I can take to help the enforcement
of my Protective Order:
A. I will keep my Protective Order (and/or probation orders or other
such legal documents) __________________________________ (location). (Always
keep it on or near my person. If I change purses, that is the first thing
that should go in it.)
B. I will give my Protective Order to police/sheriff's departments
in the community where I work, in those communities where I usually visit
family or friends, and in the community where I live. (I will make sure it
is filed properly with the district clerk.)
C. The telephone number for the district clerk and local law enforcement
agency is _________________________________. (The district clerk should contact
all law enforcement agencies in my area. I should follow up and check to see
if they need a certified copy of the Protective Order for enforcement.)
D. For further safety, if I often visit other counties in _______________________
(state of residence), I will file my Protective Order with the police in those
counties. I will register my Protective Order in the following counties: _______________________________,
_____________________________, and ________________________. (If I move, I
will get a modification to my Protective Order. Again, I will check with local
law enforcement agencies. I may need to include my family/friends in my protective
order.)
E. I can call the local domestic violence program if I am not sure
about B, C, or D, above, or if I have some problem with my Protective Order.
The number to call is ________________________.
F. I will inform my employer, my minister, my closest friend, and
_____________________________ (other) that I have a Protective Order in effect.
(I may give them copies, too.)
G. If my partner destroys my Protective Order, I can get another
certified copy from the courthouse by going to the District Clerk located
at ______________________________________.
H. If my partner violates the Protective Order, I can call the police
and report a violation, contact my attorney, call my advocate, and/or advise
the court of the violation. (Make sure it gets documented!!!)
I. If the police do not help, I can contact my advocate or attorney
to file a complaint with the chief of the police department. My advocate's
*119 name is ________________________________ and phone number is ____________________.
My attorney's name is _________________________________________________________
and phone number is ____________________.
Step 5: Safety on the job and
in public.
Each battered woman must decide if and when she will tell others that her
partner has battered her and that she may be at continued risk. Friends, family,
and coworkers can help to protect women. Each woman should consider carefully
which people to invite to help secure her safety.
I might do any or all of the following:
A. I can inform my boss, the security supervisor, and ______________________________
(other) at work of my situation.
B. I can ask _____________________________ to help screen my telephone
calls at work.
C. When leaving work, I can __________________ _____________________________.
D. When driving home, if problems occur, I can ________________________________________________
_____________________________.
E. If I use public transit, I can ____________ _____________________________.
F. I can use different grocery stores and shopping malls to conduct
my business and shop at hours that are different from those hours in which
I shopped when I resided with my battering partner.
G. I can use a different bank and take care of my banking at hours
that are different from those hours in which I banked when I resided with
my battering partner.
H. I can also _______________________________________________.
I. I will always remember to be careful and watchful. I must always
"look over my shoulder" and be cautious of any person or car that
might be following me.
Step 6: Safety and drug or alcohol
use. Most
people in this culture use alcohol. Many use mood altering drugs. Much of
this use is legal and some is not. The legal outcomes of using illegal drugs
can be very hard on a battered woman, may hurt her relationship with her children,
and put her at a disadvantage in other legal actions with her battering partner.
Therefore, women should carefully consider the potential cost of the use of
illegal drugs. Beyond this, the use of any alcohol or other drugs can reduce
a woman's awareness and ability to act quickly to protect herself from her
battering partner. Furthermore, the *120 use of alcohol or other drugs by the batterer may give him/her
an excuse to use violence. Therefore, in the context of drug or alcohol use,
a woman needs to make specific safety plans.
If drug or alcohol use has occurred in my relationship with the
battering partner, I can enhance my safety by doing some or all of the following:
A. If I am going to use, I can do so in a safe place and with people
who understand the risk of violence and are committed to my safety.
B. I can also _________________________________________________.
C. If my partner is using, I can _____________________________.
D. To safeguard my children, I might ________________________________________
and _____________________________________.
Step 7: Safety and my emotional
health. The experience of being battered and verbally degraded by partners is
usually exhausting and emotionally draining. The process of building a new
life for myself takes MUCH COURAGE AND INCREDIBLE ENERGY.
To conserve my emotional energy and resources and to avoid hard
emotional times, I can do some of the following:
A. If I feel down and ready to return to a potentially abusive situation,
I can ______________________________________ ___________________________________.
B. When I have to communicate with my partner in person or by telephone,
I can ______________________________________ ___________________________________.
C. I can try to use "I can ..." statements with myself
and to be assertive with others.
D. I can tell myself "__________________________________________"
whenever I feel others are trying to control me.
E. Ican read ___________________________________________ to help
me feel stronger.
F. I can call ___________________________________________________,
__________________________________, and _____________________________ as other
resources to be of support to me.
G. Other things I can do to help myself feel stronger are ____________________
______________________________________ _______________________________________.
H. I can take care of myself by ______________________________________________ *121 ____________________________________
________________________________.
I. I can attend workshops and support groups at the domestic violence
program or _______________________________________, or ____________________________________
to gain support and strengthen my relationships with other people.
Step 8: Items to take when leaving.
When women leave partners, it is important to take certain items with them.
Beyond this, women sometimes give an extra copy of papers and an extra set
of clothing to a friend just in case they must leave quickly.
These items might best be placed in one location, so that if we
have to leave in a hurry, I can grab them quickly. When I leave, I should
take:
Identification for myself Work permits
My birth certificate Green Card
Children's birth certificates Passports
Social security cards Medical records (all family members)
School and vaccination records Insurance papers
Driver's license and vehicle registration Welfare identification
Money Marriage/divorce certificates
Checkbook, ATM card Address book
Credit cards Pictures
Keys: House, car, office Jewelry
Medications Small saleable objects
Children's favorite toys and/or blankets Items of special sentimental value
Telephone numbers I need to know:
Police Department home
_________________________________
Police Department school
_________________________________
Police Department work
_________________________________
Battered Women's Program
_________________________________
District Clerk (for registry
of protective orders)
_________________________________
*122
Work number
_________________________________
Supervisor's home number
_________________________________
Minister
_________________________________
Attorney
_________________________________
School/Daycare
_________________________________
Doctor
_________________________________
Family member
_________________________________
Friend
_________________________________
Other
_________________________________